The art of advice, from the Quran and the Sunnah
The Quran and the Sunnah teach Muslims how to give and receive advice in a manner that is beneficial, sincere, respectful, and constructive. Some of the principles that they emphasize are: seeking God's help and guidance before giving or taking advice, choosing the appropriate time, place, and tone for advice, being gentle, kind, and patient with the one who is advised, avoiding harshness, criticism, or mockery, accepting advice with gratitude and humility, and acting upon the advice if it is in accordance with the Quran and the Sunnah.
Giving advice is a Quranic concept that is mentioned in several verses where Allah commands the believers to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and to cooperate in righteousness and piety. For example, Allah says: {Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.}
Giving advice is also a prophetic tradition that is based on the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who said: “Religion is sincerity.” We said: “To whom?” He said: “To Allah, to His Book, to His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.” This hadith shows that giving sincere advice is an essential part of faith and a duty towards Allah, His Book, His Messenger, and the Muslim community.
Giving advice should follow certain etiquette that is derived from the Quran and the Sunnah. Some of these etiquette are: being gentle, wise, knowledgeable, sincere, respectful, patient, humble, and constructive. These qualities are illustrated by many verses and hadiths that describe how the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his companions gave and received advice. For example, Allah says: {Invite (mankind, O Muhammad SAW) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Quran) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better.}
And He says:
فَبِمَا رَحۡمَةࣲ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمۡۖ وَلَوۡ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِیظَ ٱلۡقَلۡبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنۡ حَوۡلِكَۖ فَٱعۡفُ عَنۡهُمۡ وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرۡ لَهُمۡ وَشَاوِرۡهُمۡ فِی ٱلۡأَمۡرِۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمۡتَ فَتَوَكَّلۡ عَلَى ٱللَّهِۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ یُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُتَوَكِّلِینَ
So what a great mercy it is from Allah that you (O dear Prophet Mohammed – peace and blessings be upon him), are lenient towards them; and if you had been stern and hardhearted (unsympathetic) they would have certainly been uneasy in your company; so forgive them and intercede for them and consult with them in the conduct of affairs; and when you decide upon something, rely upon Allah; indeed Allah loves those who trust (Him). [Surah Al-Imran (3:159)]
And He says: {And speak to him mildly, perhaps he may accept admonition or fear (Allah).}
Offer advice with genuine intentions. Giving advice should also be done in a suitable time, place, and manner that does not expose or humiliate the one who is advised. It should be done privately and confidentially, unless there is a need to do it publicly for a greater benefit or to prevent a greater harm. It should also be done with good manners and words that do not offend or hurt the feelings of the one who is advised.
Respect for Privacy: When giving advice, it is essential to respect the privacy and dignity of others. The Quran emphasizes the importance of not prying into people's affairs without their consent. In Surah Al-Hujurat (49:12), Allah says,
یَـٰۤأَیُّهَا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱجۡتَنِبُوا۟ كَثِیرࣰا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعۡضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثۡمࣱۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا یَغۡتَب بَّعۡضُكُم بَعۡضًاۚ أَیُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمۡ أَن یَأۡكُلَ لَحۡمَ أَخِیهِ مَیۡتࣰا فَكَرِهۡتُمُوهُۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابࣱ رَّحِیمࣱ
"O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful."
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever conceals (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in this world and in the Hereafter.”
Abu Hurayra said, "A believer is the mirror of his brother. When he sees a fault in it, he should correct it."
الْمُؤْمِنُ مَرْآةُ أَخِيهِ، إِذَا رَأَى فِيهَا عَيْبًا أَصْلَحَهُ.
Grade: Hasan (Al-Albani)
And he said: “The one who gives advice to his brother privately has been sincere to him and protected his reputation.”
Personal Example: Leading by example is a powerful form of advice. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "The best among you are those who have the best manners and character" (Sahih Bukhari). Our actions should align with the advice we offer, as people are more likely to be influenced by our conduct.