Self Control and Self Respect
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Self control and self respect are two important qualities that every Muslim should strive to cultivate in their lives. Self control means to restrain oneself from indulging in sinful desires and harmful habits, such as anger, greed, lust, envy, pride, and so on. Self respect means to honor oneself as a creation of Allah and to value one's dignity, rights, and responsibilities as a believer.
Why are self control and self respect important?
Self control and self respect are important for many reasons. First of all, they are pleasing to Allah and a sign of faith. Allah says in the Quran:
"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or the (women slaves) whom their right hands possess - for (then) they are not blameworthy. But whoever seeks beyond that, then it is those who are transgressors." (23:5-7)
Secondly, they are beneficial for one's physical, mental, and spiritual health. Self control helps one to avoid diseases, addictions, and conflicts that result from excessive or unlawful pleasures. Self respect helps one to avoid depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem that result from disrespecting oneself or being disrespected by others.
Thirdly, they are essential for one's social and moral development. Self control helps one to respect the rights and feelings of others and to avoid harming them with one's words or actions. Self respect helps one to stand up for oneself and for the truth and to avoid being oppressed or oppressing others.
How can we develop self control and self respect?
There are many ways to develop self control and self respect in our lives. Some of them are:
- To remember Allah often and to seek His help in every situation. Allah says in the Quran:
"And seek help through patience and prayer. And indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive (to Allah)." (2:45)
- To study the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and to follow their guidance in all matters. The Quran and the Sunnah teach us how to control our desires and how to respect ourselves and others.
- To avoid the triggers and temptations that lead to sin and harm. This may include avoiding bad company, bad media, bad places, bad times, etc.
- To practice fasting regularly, especially in Ramadan. Fasting is a great way to train oneself to control one's appetite, anger, tongue, eyes, ears, etc.
- To seek forgiveness from Allah and from those whom we have wronged whenever we slip or make a mistake. Seeking forgiveness is a way of cleansing our hearts from guilt and remorse and restoring our self respect.
- To surround ourselves with good friends and role models who can support us, advise us, and inspire us to be better Muslims.
May Allah help us all to develop self control and self respect in our lives and grant us success in this world and the next. Ameen.